Poetry
Please be respectful and don't steal anyone's poetry, poetry is the words and blood of people's lives. 

CAME HOME AND ALL WAS SILENT
To my father, Jeffery H. Lanier on Oct.27th 1998
Timing each raspy coarse gasping breath.
Pumping morphine into dehydrated veins.
The painful pitiful sounds that escape from
His bodied entrapment of stored fat
Are just sounds of exhaustion from trying to mouth them.
Treading one foot into water
The other planted on dry land
Preparing for the conversion of energy.
What does one think at that moment?
What goes through one’s head
As they dip their toe into the ice cold water
And continue to submerge their foot on in?
The cold numbed me as a tried to plunge in after.
And salt stung my eyes,
While the dark chills deafened me.
Swam a mile to find nothing.
Emerged to find it raining.
Came home and all was silent
Like leaves gliding along a river.
Came home and all was silent
The phantom caste away in the tide.
The days passed slow and dark.
Mumbled thoughts from sealed lips passed.
Through the still air, rippling the crest of a wave.
Saw him laid out, draped in flowers.
Sitting, waiting, for the time to go slowly fleeting.
Holding the hot soggy salty tissue in my clenched fist.
I sang out to him
Gave him a push to swim that ocean.
Sat back down and held in the hurricane
Which furiously brewed inside.
Taped on a smile and sat there, numb and fragile.
Everyone walked by like shadows
Slow moving rhythmic shadows swimming on the walls
Dripping onto the floor, flowing underneath my feet.
Dark bleak shadows calling out my name
Reaching out for my hand
I pulled back and ran out into the light
Ran and ran till it cloaked me in its radiance.
Till I was dry again, collapsed into a tight heaving ball.
Came home and all was silent,
Like leaves gliding along a river.
Came home and all was silent,
Then phantom caste away in the tide.
-Katie Lanier
 
Break for Air
By:Katie Lanier
Happiness? Defeat?
Acceptance? Fear?
Peace?
All back, swimming through my soul?
And as i sit here,
Looking into the mirror,
Who, How, WHEN, oh WHAT!!!!
I stand up,
Walk outside and light a cigarette.
My only escape, my only way out,
From all the sin.
I'll stand out here, and bath in the wind.
For the breeze will take away my pain,
maybe for only 5 minuets,
But HELL!
Those 5 minuets are mine!
Mine to hold!
And in those 5 minuets,
I feel comfortable,
Not deliriously happy,
or tragically sad.
But comfortable,
like the whisper of a still ocean,
my ocean.
Just standing out here, with a cigarette.
Silence....
Stop thinking, stop wondering.
Let nature soak into every pore of your body,
and let the light reflect off your eyes.
Smoked to the filter,
I drop it to the ground,
and exhale.
Winds now violently changing,
furiously bending trees,
bringing people down to their knees.
My ocean, now churning,
swallowing my soul,
I gasp for air,
but pressure keeps it back,
like a fist jammed into my chest,
it's talons grasping and clawing for my heart.
I wipe my eyes dry,
and put on my counterfeit smile,
Walk back into the storm.
-2/18/98
 
 Untitled
By: Katie Lanier
The pain, indescribable.
The fear, undeniable.
It all builds up inside
shoved and shoved,
crammed and crammed,
into every last breathable inch of my body.
It will grow and grow
along my bones
and up my veins.
Infest me.
Till my heart just gives up,
but it is already gone,
for i threw it to the lawn.
I try to let it all out,
I try so hard
till my stomach aches,
and my eyes burn like a desert with no sun,
head pounding in rhythm with my fists.
I walk through crowded halls,
voices, laughter echo through my head,
I just can't comprehend,
So I just lay on my bed
eyes closed tight, so tight
that i can see the veins
and the pressure.
Infesting.
I want to scream at the top of my lungs,
but no one will hear
my cry of help
no one is near.
So, I just sway with the trees,
the ones in my dreams,
and rock myself to sleep.
" It will be all right for now..."
my thoughts whisper behind some hidden crevice in my head.
"all right for now..."
I shake when I talk,
And try with grace to walk.
But it is no use
Hiding just makes it worse.
But it is my nature,
the way I was taught.
Some one once said,
my mind was like a rose bush,
tangled , and throned.
I asked, "Is it yet time to morn? "
and then said. "What is worse,
"sudden death or knowing it is coming?"
It is a question of great controversy,
his answer, a blank stare.
So I just lay on my bed,
with the echoes in my head.
And gently sway with the trees,
the ones in my dreams.
"It's all right for now...
"for now... "
-2/8/98
Spirit Echo
By:Katie Lanier
The soft sweet enchantment escapes
from her tightly pressed pale pink lips,
and echoes warnings and mornings
through out the silent slumbering village.
She watches the spirit create
immense stars from her finger tips
and disappears into her own reality,
silver locks of hair trailing
veiling pale blue eyes.
She retreated
within her own shadows
of moon dreams,
soft and secure
under a blanket of crystal.
Ripples of reflections dance
as she lingers her slender fingers
and blue freesia falls from closed eyelids
of bruised purple.
-9/3/98
Seeking Nowhere
By:Katie Lanier
Beat enchanting flickers
Of burning wax covered wick,
As the smoke of scent rises
Into tile covered skies.
The waves decent into silent whispers,
As thunder roars and shakes
The blood dripping,
Raining shadows.
The wind flows
Threw my out stretched hand,
Like a velvet river,
As we race among those
Going nowhere,
Seemingly some where.
The same nowhere we seek.
Riding among sun dripped clouds,
Throw my head back
And catch the water fall
Within my open mouth,
Feel it drape my face
With natural silk.
Lifting arms and eyes,
Reaching into the star enhanced skies,
The mood rises into a slow,
Mythical fable filled fantasy
We wish we could escape into the shadows
Of the nowhere we seek
while racing among those,
Going nowhere,
Seemingly somewhere.
Riding among sun dripped clouds
and star enhanced skies.
Spinning in the splendor
of the pale flowing whiteness
Of the full moon.
Seeking our nowhere.
-9/7/98
(untitled)
By: Katie Lanier.
"How can she walk,
With such darkness
Draped over her eyes?"
The youth asked
In a heart felt whisper.
"She can't, my child."
She passed by,
Heavy footed,
Mouth frozen.
Stumbling into people,
Arms out stretched.
"Why does she not
Lift the vale?"
"Her eyes are now sensitive,
My child.
To sensitive."
She clumsily found a chair,
And sat alone.
"You mean the light
Burns her eyes?"
"Yes, my child."
"But she can not see!"
"Yes, my child."
Then my child walked over to her,
And sat.
"How can you walk
With such darkness
Draped over your eyes?"
"I use my hands."
Her raspy coarse voice drowning.
"Why not just lift your vale?"
"The light hurts my eyes."
A trendal of gray white hair
Fell from beneath her hat.
"But it would only hurt
For but a couple moments."
The child's golden voice rang.
"Leave me be child."
The irritated old raspy voice croaked.
My child then
Walked back to me,
Grasped my hand,
And said,
"I understand now."
I gazed down upon her
And smiled, "Yes, my child."
-9/7/98
Illusioned Truth
By:Katie Lanier
The illusion of her
Destroys all truth
In the life he can not see
One stands for
Earth , air , water, and fire.
But the blindness of ignorance
Masks all meaning
And takes hold of those who
Can not bend the wrinkle in
Imagination
To grasp the life
Of illusioned truth.
-9/4/98
 
Grave Moonlight
By:Katie Lanier
(To the sloth)
The soft stillness of the moon beamed silent slumber,
as we sat with the ones buried deep under.
Crickets creak , sing, and crack,
while cars whoosh by in the distance.
My stomach curled and knotted tight,
for fear crept up and made me fright,
He held me here and talked to me,
Talked till I feared nothing near.
So we sat,
under the soft stillness of the moon beamed silent slumber
watched the delicate clouds circle by
telling storied to feed the human mind.
-9/8/98
Sonnet # 1
By: Katie Lanier
And to the window pane she walks
Twirling a lock of hair between
Her damp mind's clouded whispered thoughts,
Gazes out, but nothing is seen.
Tension builds within her dimmed heart,
Frustration boils and fears arise,
For they have never been so long apart,
And she thinks of the worst demise.
Knots twist and tighten her stomach,
Her throat so very soar and dry,
twisted thoughts she tries to kick,
as the clock ticks slowly on by.
She sits and stares out that window,
Not knowing she'd become a widow.
-9/9/98
Sonnet #2
By: Katie Lanier
The liquid gold drips
stumbled thoughts to the floor
away from his lips
crawling out the closed door.
Flowing figures pass
spinning into nothing
mumbling his last
wishing it was something.
Falls into the tiles
like shadows in the dawn
infesting smiles
his gold cloaks the lawn.
Wakes up then he blinks
gold liquid in the sink.
-9/15/98
Sonnet #3
By: Katie Lanier
Lined with destiny,
sprinkled with chance
frosted with some dreams
word filled entrance.
Throw in emotions
a pinch of sight
tears are an option
along with might.
Place under the sun
and leave it be
it may rise when done
or it may sink.
Then measure out it's life,
and blind it with false light.
-9/16/98
Talking To Mama
By : Katie Lanier
I said I was watching
Where I was walking
I didn't mean to
Mama, I promise you.
But I didn't see it
Didn't see the hole
under twigs and leaves
and my foot broke that screen.
I fell and fell for days
at first it felt strange
like melting away
the shadows of the insane.
When I hit ground I found
myself, lost somewhere
in some paradise
from many of my dreams.
I said I was watching
where I was walking
I didn't mean to
Mama, I promise you.
At first it was intense
and captivating
now it is comfortable
and now a part of me.
You cant take it away!
I know that it breaks
the reality
of this scuffed society
But please hear me Mama!
It is what I love
What drives me to live!
Please Mama, I am begging.
I said I was watching,
where I was walking...
I didn't mean to
Mama, I promise you...
-9/17/98
 
I will deprive Him
By: Katie Lanier
The blood surges threw
like fire in my chest
I try to hold back
thoughts I can not confess.
So I sit alone
like a cat in waiting
for it's prey to come
slow and silent breathing.
Pressure is building
the eyes of blind vision
glowing rage of time
the voices will be ringing.
The room now spinning
underneath paralyzed feet.
Their screams of terror,
is his sick release.
But none of my screams
will those bastards ears' hear,
I shall deprive him
and in time, survive him.
-9/16/98
 
(untitled)
By : K. Lanier
Whiteness, as this paper once was
like the great expanse of winter's nothingness
she shivered in the numbing cold,
walking down the deserted lonely side streets.
Darkness, is her hollowed out soul
like those obsidian eyes the reach forever
she must tie a string to her finger
So that one day, she may find her way home, again.
-9/16/98
Tori and her Piano
By: K. Lanier
It's ivory keys gliding
moving up and down with intense grace
It's voice is singing aloud
echoing out threw the winding halls.
It's filled with fantasy and
never ending pain dripped emotions
It sings the children to sleep
not comprehending the meaning.
It, without her, is nothing
standing four legged and all alone.
It's voice a silent humming
only heard by those few memories.
It is alive when she comes
to strike the keys and dance together.
It is as if they are one.
"Rabbit, where'd ya put the keys girl?"
-9/22/98
Silence's Proclamation
By: K. Lanier
Silence forbids understanding
grant it but one thing,
it is strangely captivating,
Tracking and hunting,
Licking and biting.
We sit here , he and I watching
the time slowly loudly ticking
for us it is showing
the moments passing
and the feeling that is lingering
within his and my own being.
The vast blankness which is staring
into my eyes, penetrating
my soul that is not restoring
now,  he is looking
into my direction hoping
thinks it is helping
and he still keeps on talking
his voice i am not hearing
"Go AWAY!!" I am now yelling....
I can still see him walking, burning.
Now the silence is flooding
mounting and mounting
my nerves are plucking
my soul is trashing
till eyes are blurring
madness filling
till the blood red rage is blinding
till feel are pacing
the nails are clawing
the skin is ripping
cold insanity is striking,
the heart is racing
fists are beating
the brain nerves dying!!
Silence forbids understanding....
-9/22/98
 
What dreams are made off
By: Katie Lanier
You start out with a pinch of stars
and a wisp of dusk
add a little summer's breeze
and kiss it lightly on the cheek.
Glaze it gently with fancy
give it a prayer to say
tuck it under a cloud or two
and let it drift away.
-10/1/98
Chemicals
By: SolitudeX6
 it was dusk
                all the same to me
Dark shadows
        glow in the rings of the moon,
                        Majestic in their texture
At the beach with sand between our toes
        when waves crash, turn up dead fish
                                and seaweed
</I>Muscle covered jetties crush violently
        as our evolved feet walk.
The sweat from the air now
        runs off our brow
wiped away by a flannel sleeve.
It's plastic buttons get in our eyes
                and burn..
Moonlit summer days help us to
        see our pseudo appearance.
                The rippled reflection we see
        is covered by imagination.
                The mind takes over in this
                        concrete flower image.
 
We take to the streets
with friends who are strangers
As we walk, we bond with
        nature and disease.
Splinter filled ground makes us bleed
as we step into puddles of colors and thoughts..
                We go below the earth
        carefully, cautiously, trying not to
                disturb this pre-archiological find.
        Designated seats for all,
                a bed for the wounded we sit,
        in our homeless home.
Time passes like a rippled,
colorless wave stretching through space
SNEAK OVERLOAD SAYS THE GODS.
        We jump, all startled by
the simultaneous sounds.
        We can hear our gods walking,
talking, thinking.
                As they move towards our
newly found home, we can hear every
step they take, every thought they
think.
        Maybe even perhaps the glowing
blue light  that now shines in our
eyes is a symbol of their soul.
        As we open our entrance
        to see our demanding gods,
all we see.........is wind.
 
A Mid-Winter’s Nightmare
Dec.25th, 1998
A large gaping, gasping hole in the middle of the wood floor,
The empty wind echoing inside.
Darkness spilling, spewing out over the rim,
Like a black fog, seeping into the room.
She stands and walks to the edge,
Blackness curling about her feet,
She stares down into the abyss on her living room floor,
Scratches her head and kneels at the drop.
Slowly she extends her arm into the cavity.
The damp wind whips and licks at her bare flesh.
Shuddering, she jumps up and stumble back,
Away from the unbearable empty sounds of the void.
The darkness fumes out, thicker and blacker.
Bringing with it the horrors and screeches of the unknown.
Extending its opaque arms across the room.
She creeps backward, her eyes wide
Screaming her breathless urgencies,
Clenching and tearing at her ears,
Till the plain white wall hugs her body.
As the fog curls and seeps increasingly closer,
Blanketing and rising through the room,
It coils up her legs and clings to her body.
With a mind shattering deep moan of anguish
The wall releases her,
And the limp body drops to the floor,
Disappearing into the darkness.
Lights slipped away from the windows and reappeared,
Once, twice, three times
When she finally opens her eyes.
She inhales visions, as she exhales sanity.
Her eyes flash violet as she scans her room,
Noticing the black fog to have gone, along with the void.
Stands up off the wood floor, brushes of her pants,
And walks out the door.
-Katie Lanier
 
Ice Sickles
Nov.24th, 1998
She is almost numb, trembling in the bitter, harsh cold.
It ironically burns her throat as she inhales, piercing it.
Her lips quiver as she tries to speak dry words of comfort.
But what is there to say, with no one but the wind to hear you?
And this forceful wind can’t even carry her words that far.
She tries to close her eyes and wait, but her lids are frozen open
By cold tears, which dangle like ice sickles off her lashes.
Her cheeks burn with a shivery crisp tightness,
And her clouded breath hovers over her head.
Each time she tries to adjust, one way or another,
She is punished with jolts of sharp agony.
Being pushed the limit,
The icy extremities of her in-trapped sanity.
She just wanted to be noticed
To be touched, to be felt, to be seen,
To be.
-Katie Lanier
 
Just laid there
She tripped and fell again,
Over some little jagged rock.
At first she just laid there,
Sprawled out on the cold wet ground.
She laid there soaking up the mud.
Laid there and breathed in the coppery scent.
Her eyes just laid there, wide open and blank.
Her mouth just lay open, unclenched and loose.
She wouldn’t stand up,
She didn’t want to.
She wouldn’t move,
She didn’t think she even could.
So, she just laid there.
Laid there soaking in the mud.
Laid there breathing in the dirt.
Laid there watching the clouds part.
-Katie Lanier.
 
Oceans on Land
Dec.7th, 1998
When I was a child,
The snow kissed my lips,
Caressed my cheek,
Stroked my hair.
It used to hold me in its embrace
And tickle my nose till it would glow.
It made my world seem
Cleaner, brighter and more pure.
Its crisp clean scent would open my eyes.
Every morning it would greet me
As I strolled through its vast sincerity.
From its view, everything looked whole,
Enduring forever
Through wind and sun.
It was if I was floating,
Drifting on oceans at land,
When I was a child.
-Katie Lanier
 
Summer Dreams
12-21-98
The fresh warm scent cradled my nose,
While my body absorbed into the sun.
I fell into the grass and let it enfold me.
Ran through the air and became a bird,
Felt the velvet air slide through my feathers,
The solid ground beneath my feet turn into nothing.
I walked through the forest and became a wolf,
Pacing low and silent, my eyes held every vision.
I swan through the river and became a fish,
Felt the satin water rush up against my golden scales,
Felt the cool touch of the river’s hand upon my cheek.
I lay on the riverbank underneath the night sky,
And listened to the river’s soft rumbled whispers.
Closed my eyes and hummed along with the forest,
Till sleep charmed me into it’s warm embrace.
-Katie Lanier
 
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