poetry

Poetry Please be respectful and don't steal anyone's poetry, poetry is the words and blood of people's lives.

CAME HOME AND ALL WAS SILENT To my father, Jeffery H. Lanier on Oct.27th 1998 Timing each raspy coarse gasping breath. Pumping morphine into dehydrated veins. The painful pitiful sounds that escape from His bodied entrapment of stored fat Are just sounds of exhaustion from trying to mouth them. Treading one foot into water The other planted on dry land Preparing for the conversion of energy. What does one think at that moment? What goes through one’s head As they dip their toe into the ice cold water And continue to submerge their foot on in? The cold numbed me as a tried to plunge in after. And salt stung my eyes, While the dark chills deafened me. Swam a mile to find nothing. Emerged to find it raining. Came home and all was silent Like leaves gliding along a river. Came home and all was silent The phantom caste away in the tide. The days passed slow and dark. Mumbled thoughts from sealed lips passed. Through the still air, rippling the crest of a wave. Saw him laid out, draped in flowers. Sitting, waiting, for the time to go slowly fleeting. Holding the hot soggy salty tissue in my clenched fist. I sang out to him Gave him a push to swim that ocean. Sat back down and held in the hurricane Which furiously brewed inside. Taped on a smile and sat there, numb and fragile. Everyone walked by like shadows Slow moving rhythmic shadows swimming on the walls Dripping onto the floor, flowing underneath my feet. Dark bleak shadows calling out my name Reaching out for my hand I pulled back and ran out into the light Ran and ran till it cloaked me in its radiance. Till I was dry again, collapsed into a tight heaving ball. Came home and all was silent, Like leaves gliding along a river. Came home and all was silent, Then phantom caste away in the tide. -Katie Lanier Break for Air By:Katie Lanier Happiness? Defeat? Acceptance? Fear? Peace? All back, swimming through my soul? And as i sit here, Looking into the mirror, Who, How, WHEN, oh WHAT!!!! I stand up, Walk outside and light a cigarette. My only escape, my only way out, From all the sin. I'll stand out here, and bath in the wind. For the breeze will take away my pain, maybe for only 5 minuets, But HELL! Those 5 minuets are mine! Mine to hold! And in those 5 minuets, I feel comfortable, Not deliriously happy, or tragically sad. But comfortable, like the whisper of a still ocean, my ocean. Just standing out here, with a cigarette. Silence.... Stop thinking, stop wondering. Let nature soak into every pore of your body, and let the light reflect off your eyes. Smoked to the filter, I drop it to the ground, and exhale. Winds now violently changing, furiously bending trees, bringing people down to their knees. My ocean, now churning, swallowing my soul, I gasp for air, but pressure keeps it back, like a fist jammed into my chest, it's talons grasping and clawing for my heart. I wipe my eyes dry, and put on my counterfeit smile, Walk back into the storm. -2/18/98

Untitled By: Katie Lanier The pain, indescribable. The fear, undeniable. It all builds up inside shoved and shoved, crammed and crammed, into every last breathable inch of my body. It will grow and grow along my bones and up my veins. Infest me. Till my heart just gives up, but it is already gone, for i threw it to the lawn. I try to let it all out, I try so hard till my stomach aches, and my eyes burn like a desert with no sun, head pounding in rhythm with my fists. I walk through crowded halls, voices, laughter echo through my head, I just can't comprehend, So I just lay on my bed eyes closed tight, so tight that i can see the veins and the pressure. Infesting. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, but no one will hear my cry of help no one is near. So, I just sway with the trees, the ones in my dreams, and rock myself to sleep. " It will be all right for now..." my thoughts whisper behind some hidden crevice in my head. "all right for now..." I shake when I talk, And try with grace to walk. But it is no use Hiding just makes it worse. But it is my nature, the way I was taught. Some one once said, my mind was like a rose bush, tangled , and throned. I asked, "Is it yet time to morn? " and then said. "What is worse, "sudden death or knowing it is coming?" It is a question of great controversy, his answer, a blank stare. So I just lay on my bed, with the echoes in my head. And gently sway with the trees, the ones in my dreams. "It's all right for now... "for now... " -2/8/98

Spirit Echo By:Katie Lanier The soft sweet enchantment escapes from her tightly pressed pale pink lips, and echoes warnings and mornings through out the silent slumbering village. She watches the spirit create immense stars from her finger tips and disappears into her own reality, silver locks of hair trailing veiling pale blue eyes. She retreated within her own shadows of moon dreams, soft and secure under a blanket of crystal. Ripples of reflections dance as she lingers her slender fingers and blue freesia falls from closed eyelids of bruised purple. -9/3/98

Seeking Nowhere By:Katie Lanier Beat enchanting flickers Of burning wax covered wick, As the smoke of scent rises Into tile covered skies. The waves decent into silent whispers, As thunder roars and shakes The blood dripping, Raining shadows. The wind flows Threw my out stretched hand, Like a velvet river, As we race among those Going nowhere, Seemingly some where. The same nowhere we seek. Riding among sun dripped clouds, Throw my head back And catch the water fall Within my open mouth, Feel it drape my face With natural silk. Lifting arms and eyes, Reaching into the star enhanced skies, The mood rises into a slow, Mythical fable filled fantasy We wish we could escape into the shadows Of the nowhere we seek while racing among those, Going nowhere, Seemingly somewhere. Riding among sun dripped clouds and star enhanced skies. Spinning in the splendor of the pale flowing whiteness Of the full moon. Seeking our nowhere. -9/7/98

(untitled) By: Katie Lanier. "How can she walk, With such darkness Draped over her eyes?" The youth asked In a heart felt whisper. "She can't, my child." She passed by, Heavy footed, Mouth frozen. Stumbling into people, Arms out stretched. "Why does she not Lift the vale?" "Her eyes are now sensitive, My child. To sensitive." She clumsily found a chair, And sat alone. "You mean the light Burns her eyes?" "Yes, my child." "But she can not see!" "Yes, my child." Then my child walked over to her, And sat. "How can you walk With such darkness Draped over your eyes?" "I use my hands." Her raspy coarse voice drowning. "Why not just lift your vale?" "The light hurts my eyes." A trendal of gray white hair Fell from beneath her hat. "But it would only hurt For but a couple moments." The child's golden voice rang. "Leave me be child." The irritated old raspy voice croaked. My child then Walked back to me, Grasped my hand, And said, "I understand now." I gazed down upon her And smiled, "Yes, my child." -9/7/98

Illusioned Truth By:Katie Lanier The illusion of her Destroys all truth In the life he can not see One stands for Earth , air , water, and fire. But the blindness of ignorance Masks all meaning And takes hold of those who Can not bend the wrinkle in Imagination To grasp the life Of illusioned truth. -9/4/98

Grave Moonlight By:Katie Lanier (To the sloth) The soft stillness of the moon beamed silent slumber, as we sat with the ones buried deep under. Crickets creak , sing, and crack, while cars whoosh by in the distance. My stomach curled and knotted tight, for fear crept up and made me fright, He held me here and talked to me, Talked till I feared nothing near. So we sat, under the soft stillness of the moon beamed silent slumber watched the delicate clouds circle by telling storied to feed the human mind. -9/8/98

Sonnet # 1 By: Katie Lanier And to the window pane she walks Twirling a lock of hair between Her damp mind's clouded whispered thoughts, Gazes out, but nothing is seen. Tension builds within her dimmed heart, Frustration boils and fears arise, For they have never been so long apart, And she thinks of the worst demise. Knots twist and tighten her stomach, Her throat so very soar and dry, twisted thoughts she tries to kick, as the clock ticks slowly on by. She sits and stares out that window, Not knowing she'd become a widow. -9/9/98

Sonnet #2 By: Katie Lanier The liquid gold drips stumbled thoughts to the floor away from his lips crawling out the closed door. Flowing figures pass spinning into nothing mumbling his last wishing it was something. Falls into the tiles like shadows in the dawn infesting smiles his gold cloaks the lawn. Wakes up then he blinks gold liquid in the sink. -9/15/98

Sonnet #3 By: Katie Lanier Lined with destiny, sprinkled with chance frosted with some dreams word filled entrance. Throw in emotions a pinch of sight tears are an option along with might. Place under the sun and leave it be it may rise when done or it may sink. Then measure out it's life, and blind it with false light. -9/16/98

Talking To Mama By : Katie Lanier I said I was watching Where I was walking I didn't mean to Mama, I promise you. But I didn't see it Didn't see the hole under twigs and leaves and my foot broke that screen. I fell and fell for days at first it felt strange like melting away the shadows of the insane. When I hit ground I found myself, lost somewhere in some paradise from many of my dreams. I said I was watching where I was walking I didn't mean to Mama, I promise you. At first it was intense and captivating now it is comfortable and now a part of me. You cant take it away! I know that it breaks the reality of this scuffed society But please hear me Mama! It is what I love What drives me to live! Please Mama, I am begging. I said I was watching, where I was walking... I didn't mean to Mama, I promise you... -9/17/98

I will deprive Him By: Katie Lanier The blood surges threw like fire in my chest I try to hold back thoughts I can not confess. So I sit alone like a cat in waiting for it's prey to come slow and silent breathing. Pressure is building the eyes of blind vision glowing rage of time the voices will be ringing. The room now spinning underneath paralyzed feet. Their screams of terror, is his sick release. But none of my screams will those bastards ears' hear, I shall deprive him and in time, survive him. -9/16/98

(untitled) By : K. Lanier Whiteness, as this paper once was like the great expanse of winter's nothingness she shivered in the numbing cold, walking down the deserted lonely side streets. Darkness, is her hollowed out soul like those obsidian eyes the reach forever she must tie a string to her finger So that one day, she may find her way home, again. -9/16/98

Tori and her Piano By: K. Lanier It's ivory keys gliding moving up and down with intense grace It's voice is singing aloud echoing out threw the winding halls. It's filled with fantasy and never ending pain dripped emotions It sings the children to sleep not comprehending the meaning. It, without her, is nothing standing four legged and all alone. It's voice a silent humming only heard by those few memories. It is alive when she comes to strike the keys and dance together. It is as if they are one. "Rabbit, where'd ya put the keys girl?" -9/22/98

Silence's Proclamation By: K. Lanier Silence forbids understanding grant it but one thing, it is strangely captivating, Tracking and hunting, Licking and biting. We sit here , he and I watching the time slowly loudly ticking for us it is showing the moments passing and the feeling that is lingering within his and my own being. The vast blankness which is staring into my eyes, penetrating my soul that is not restoring now, he is looking into my direction hoping thinks it is helping and he still keeps on talking his voice i am not hearing "Go AWAY!!" I am now yelling.... I can still see him walking, burning. Now the silence is flooding mounting and mounting my nerves are plucking my soul is trashing till eyes are blurring madness filling till the blood red rage is blinding till feel are pacing the nails are clawing the skin is ripping cold insanity is striking, the heart is racing fists are beating the brain nerves dying!! Silence forbids understanding.... -9/22/98

What dreams are made off By: Katie Lanier You start out with a pinch of stars and a wisp of dusk add a little summer's breeze and kiss it lightly on the cheek. Glaze it gently with fancy give it a prayer to say tuck it under a cloud or two and let it drift away. -10/1/98

Chemicals By: SolitudeX6 it was dusk all the same to me Dark shadows glow in the rings of the moon, Majestic in their texture At the beach with sand between our toes when waves crash, turn up dead fish and seaweed </I>Muscle covered jetties crush violently as our evolved feet walk. The sweat from the air now runs off our brow wiped away by a flannel sleeve. It's plastic buttons get in our eyes and burn.. Moonlit summer days help us to see our pseudo appearance. The rippled reflection we see is covered by imagination. The mind takes over in this concrete flower image. We take to the streets with friends who are strangers As we walk, we bond with nature and disease. Splinter filled ground makes us bleed as we step into puddles of colors and thoughts.. We go below the earth carefully, cautiously, trying not to disturb this pre-archiological find. Designated seats for all, a bed for the wounded we sit, in our homeless home. Time passes like a rippled, colorless wave stretching through space SNEAK OVERLOAD SAYS THE GODS. We jump, all startled by the simultaneous sounds. We can hear our gods walking, talking, thinking. As they move towards our newly found home, we can hear every step they take, every thought they think. Maybe even perhaps the glowing blue light that now shines in our eyes is a symbol of their soul. As we open our entrance to see our demanding gods, all we see.........is wind. A Mid-Winter’s Nightmare Dec.25th, 1998 A large gaping, gasping hole in the middle of the wood floor, The empty wind echoing inside. Darkness spilling, spewing out over the rim, Like a black fog, seeping into the room. She stands and walks to the edge, Blackness curling about her feet, She stares down into the abyss on her living room floor, Scratches her head and kneels at the drop. Slowly she extends her arm into the cavity. The damp wind whips and licks at her bare flesh. Shuddering, she jumps up and stumble back, Away from the unbearable empty sounds of the void. The darkness fumes out, thicker and blacker. Bringing with it the horrors and screeches of the unknown. Extending its opaque arms across the room. She creeps backward, her eyes wide Screaming her breathless urgencies, Clenching and tearing at her ears, Till the plain white wall hugs her body. As the fog curls and seeps increasingly closer, Blanketing and rising through the room, It coils up her legs and clings to her body. With a mind shattering deep moan of anguish The wall releases her, And the limp body drops to the floor, Disappearing into the darkness. Lights slipped away from the windows and reappeared, Once, twice, three times When she finally opens her eyes. She inhales visions, as she exhales sanity. Her eyes flash violet as she scans her room, Noticing the black fog to have gone, along with the void. Stands up off the wood floor, brushes of her pants, And walks out the door. -Katie Lanier Ice Sickles Nov.24th, 1998 She is almost numb, trembling in the bitter, harsh cold. It ironically burns her throat as she inhales, piercing it. Her lips quiver as she tries to speak dry words of comfort. But what is there to say, with no one but the wind to hear you? And this forceful wind can’t even carry her words that far. She tries to close her eyes and wait, but her lids are frozen open By cold tears, which dangle like ice sickles off her lashes. Her cheeks burn with a shivery crisp tightness, And her clouded breath hovers over her head. Each time she tries to adjust, one way or another, She is punished with jolts of sharp agony. Being pushed the limit, The icy extremities of her in-trapped sanity. She just wanted to be noticed To be touched, to be felt, to be seen, To be. -Katie Lanier Just laid there She tripped and fell again, Over some little jagged rock. At first she just laid there, Sprawled out on the cold wet ground. She laid there soaking up the mud. Laid there and breathed in the coppery scent. Her eyes just laid there, wide open and blank. Her mouth just lay open, unclenched and loose. She wouldn’t stand up, She didn’t want to. She wouldn’t move, She didn’t think she even could. So, she just laid there. Laid there soaking in the mud. Laid there breathing in the dirt. Laid there watching the clouds part. -Katie Lanier. Oceans on Land Dec.7th, 1998 When I was a child, The snow kissed my lips, Caressed my cheek, Stroked my hair. It used to hold me in its embrace And tickle my nose till it would glow. It made my world seem Cleaner, brighter and more pure. Its crisp clean scent would open my eyes. Every morning it would greet me As I strolled through its vast sincerity. From its view, everything looked whole, Enduring forever Through wind and sun. It was if I was floating, Drifting on oceans at land, When I was a child. -Katie Lanier Summer Dreams 12-21-98 The fresh warm scent cradled my nose, While my body absorbed into the sun. I fell into the grass and let it enfold me. Ran through the air and became a bird, Felt the velvet air slide through my feathers, The solid ground beneath my feet turn into nothing. I walked through the forest and became a wolf, Pacing low and silent, my eyes held every vision. I swan through the river and became a fish, Felt the satin water rush up against my golden scales, Felt the cool touch of the river’s hand upon my cheek. I lay on the riverbank underneath the night sky, And listened to the river’s soft rumbled whispers. Closed my eyes and hummed along with the forest, Till sleep charmed me into it’s warm embrace. -Katie Lanier

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