Poetry
Please be respectful and don't steal anyone's
poetry, poetry is the words and blood of people's lives.
CAME HOME AND ALL WAS
SILENT
To my father, Jeffery
H. Lanier on Oct.27th 1998
Timing each raspy coarse
gasping breath.
Pumping morphine into
dehydrated veins.
The painful pitiful sounds
that escape from
His bodied entrapment
of stored fat
Are just sounds of exhaustion
from trying to mouth them.
Treading one foot into
water
The other planted on
dry land
Preparing for the conversion
of energy.
What does one think at
that moment?
What goes through one’s
head
As they dip their toe
into the ice cold water
And continue to submerge
their foot on in?
The cold numbed me as
a tried to plunge in after.
And salt stung my eyes,
While the dark chills
deafened me.
Swam a mile to find nothing.
Emerged to find it raining.
Came home and all was
silent
Like leaves gliding along
a river.
Came home and all was
silent
The phantom caste away
in the tide.
The days passed slow
and dark.
Mumbled thoughts from
sealed lips passed.
Through the still air,
rippling the crest of a wave.
Saw him laid out, draped
in flowers.
Sitting, waiting, for
the time to go slowly fleeting.
Holding the hot soggy
salty tissue in my clenched fist.
I sang out to him
Gave him a push to swim
that ocean.
Sat back down and held
in the hurricane
Which furiously brewed
inside.
Taped on a smile and
sat there, numb and fragile.
Everyone walked by like
shadows
Slow moving rhythmic
shadows swimming on the walls
Dripping onto the floor,
flowing underneath my feet.
Dark bleak shadows calling
out my name
Reaching out for my hand
I pulled back and ran
out into the light
Ran and ran till it cloaked
me in its radiance.
Till I was dry again,
collapsed into a tight heaving ball.
Came home and all was
silent,
Like leaves gliding along
a river.
Came home and all was
silent,
Then phantom caste away
in the tide.
-Katie Lanier
Break for Air
By:Katie Lanier
Happiness? Defeat?
Acceptance? Fear?
Peace?
All back, swimming through
my soul?
And as i sit here,
Looking into the mirror,
Who, How, WHEN, oh WHAT!!!!
I stand up,
Walk outside and light
a cigarette.
My only escape, my only
way out,
From all the sin.
I'll stand out here,
and bath in the wind.
For the breeze will take
away my pain,
maybe for only 5 minuets,
But HELL!
Those 5 minuets are mine!
Mine to hold!
And in those 5 minuets,
I feel comfortable,
Not deliriously happy,
or tragically sad.
But comfortable,
like the whisper of a
still ocean,
my ocean.
Just standing out here,
with a cigarette.
Silence....
Stop thinking, stop wondering.
Let nature soak into
every pore of your body,
and let the light reflect
off your eyes.
Smoked to the filter,
I drop it to the ground,
and exhale.
Winds now violently changing,
furiously bending trees,
bringing people down
to their knees.
My ocean, now churning,
swallowing my soul,
I gasp for air,
but pressure keeps it
back,
like a fist jammed into
my chest,
it's talons grasping
and clawing for my heart.
I wipe my eyes dry,
and put on my counterfeit
smile,
Walk back into the storm.
-2/18/98
Untitled
By: Katie Lanier
The pain, indescribable.
The fear, undeniable.
It all builds up inside
shoved and shoved,
crammed and crammed,
into every last breathable inch of
my body.
It will grow and grow
along my bones
and up my veins.
Infest me.
Till my heart just gives up,
but it is already gone,
for i threw it to the lawn.
I try to let it all out,
I try so hard
till my stomach aches,
and my eyes burn like a desert with
no sun,
head pounding in rhythm with my fists.
I walk through crowded halls,
voices, laughter echo through my head,
I just can't comprehend,
So I just lay on my bed
eyes closed tight, so tight
that i can see the veins
and the pressure.
Infesting.
I want to scream at the top of my lungs,
but no one will hear
my cry of help
no one is near.
So, I just sway with the trees,
the ones in my dreams,
and rock myself to sleep.
" It will be all right for now..."
my thoughts whisper behind some hidden
crevice in my head.
"all right for now..."
I shake when I talk,
And try with grace to walk.
But it is no use
Hiding just makes it worse.
But it is my nature,
the way I was taught.
Some one once said,
my mind was like a rose bush,
tangled , and throned.
I asked, "Is it yet time to morn? "
and then said. "What is worse,
"sudden death or knowing it is coming?"
It is a question of great controversy,
his answer, a blank stare.
So I just lay on my bed,
with the echoes in my head.
And gently sway with the trees,
the ones in my dreams.
"It's all right for now...
"for now... "
-2/8/98
Spirit Echo
By:Katie Lanier
The soft sweet enchantment
escapes
from her tightly pressed
pale pink lips,
and echoes warnings and
mornings
through out the silent
slumbering village.
She watches the spirit
create
immense stars from her
finger tips
and disappears into her
own reality,
silver locks of hair
trailing
veiling pale blue eyes.
She retreated
within her own shadows
of moon dreams,
soft and secure
under a blanket of crystal.
Ripples of reflections
dance
as she lingers her slender
fingers
and blue freesia falls
from closed eyelids
of bruised purple.
-9/3/98
Seeking Nowhere
By:Katie Lanier
Beat enchanting flickers
Of burning wax covered
wick,
As the smoke of scent
rises
Into tile covered skies.
The waves decent into
silent whispers,
As thunder roars and
shakes
The blood dripping,
Raining shadows.
The wind flows
Threw my out stretched
hand,
Like a velvet river,
As we race among those
Going nowhere,
Seemingly some where.
The same nowhere we seek.
Riding among sun dripped
clouds,
Throw my head back
And catch the water fall
Within my open mouth,
Feel it drape my face
With natural silk.
Lifting arms and eyes,
Reaching into the star
enhanced skies,
The mood rises into a
slow,
Mythical fable filled
fantasy
We wish we could escape
into the shadows
Of the nowhere we seek
while racing among those,
Going nowhere,
Seemingly somewhere.
Riding among sun dripped
clouds
and star enhanced skies.
Spinning in the splendor
of the pale flowing whiteness
Of the full moon.
Seeking our nowhere.
-9/7/98
(untitled)
By: Katie Lanier.
"How can she walk,
With such darkness
Draped over her eyes?"
The youth asked
In a heart felt whisper.
"She can't, my child."
She passed by,
Heavy footed,
Mouth frozen.
Stumbling into people,
Arms out stretched.
"Why does she not
Lift the vale?"
"Her eyes are now sensitive,
My child.
To sensitive."
She clumsily found a
chair,
And sat alone.
"You mean the light
Burns her eyes?"
"Yes, my child."
"But
she can not see!"
"Yes,
my child."
Then
my child walked over to her,
And
sat.
"How
can you walk
With
such darkness
Draped
over your eyes?"
"I
use my hands."
Her
raspy coarse voice drowning.
"Why
not just lift your vale?"
"The
light hurts my eyes."
A
trendal of gray white hair
Fell
from beneath her hat.
"But
it would only hurt
For
but a couple moments."
The
child's golden voice rang.
"Leave
me be child."
The
irritated old raspy voice croaked.
My
child then
Walked
back to me,
Grasped
my hand,
And
said,
"I
understand now."
I
gazed down upon her
And
smiled, "Yes, my child."
-9/7/98
Illusioned
Truth
By:Katie
Lanier
The
illusion of her
Destroys
all truth
In
the life he can not see
One
stands for
Earth
, air , water, and fire.
But
the blindness of ignorance
Masks
all meaning
And
takes hold of those who
Can
not bend the wrinkle in
Imagination
To
grasp the life
Of
illusioned truth.
-9/4/98
Grave
Moonlight
By:Katie
Lanier
(To
the sloth)
The
soft stillness of the moon beamed silent slumber,
as
we sat with the ones buried deep under.
Crickets
creak , sing, and crack,
while
cars whoosh by in the distance.
My
stomach curled and knotted tight,
for
fear crept up and made me fright,
He
held me here and talked to me,
Talked
till I feared nothing near.
So
we sat,
under
the soft stillness of the moon beamed silent slumber
watched
the delicate clouds circle by
telling
storied to feed the human mind.
-9/8/98
Sonnet
# 1
By:
Katie Lanier
And
to the window pane she walks
Twirling
a lock of hair between
Her
damp mind's clouded whispered thoughts,
Gazes
out, but nothing is seen.
Tension
builds within her dimmed heart,
Frustration
boils and fears arise,
For
they have never been so long apart,
And
she thinks of the worst demise.
Knots
twist and tighten her stomach,
Her
throat so very soar and dry,
twisted
thoughts she tries to kick,
as
the clock ticks slowly on by.
She
sits and stares out that window,
Not
knowing she'd become a widow.
-9/9/98
Sonnet
#2
By:
Katie Lanier
The
liquid gold drips
stumbled
thoughts to the floor
away
from his lips
crawling
out the closed door.
Flowing
figures pass
spinning
into nothing
mumbling
his last
wishing
it was something.
Falls
into the tiles
like
shadows in the dawn
infesting
smiles
his
gold cloaks the lawn.
Wakes
up then he blinks
gold
liquid in the sink.
-9/15/98
Sonnet
#3
By:
Katie Lanier
Lined
with destiny,
sprinkled
with chance
frosted
with some dreams
word
filled entrance.
Throw
in emotions
a
pinch of sight
tears
are an option
along
with might.
Place
under the sun
and
leave it be
it
may rise when done
or
it may sink.
Then
measure out it's life,
and
blind it with false light.
-9/16/98
Talking
To Mama
By
: Katie Lanier
I
said I was watching
Where
I was walking
I
didn't mean to
Mama,
I promise you.
But
I didn't see it
Didn't
see the hole
under
twigs and leaves
and
my foot broke that screen.
I
fell and fell for days
at
first it felt strange
like
melting away
the
shadows of the insane.
When
I hit ground I found
myself,
lost somewhere
in
some paradise
from
many of my dreams.
I
said I was watching
where
I was walking
I
didn't mean to
Mama,
I promise you.
At
first it was intense
and
captivating
now
it is comfortable
and
now a part of me.
You
cant take it away!
I
know that it breaks
the
reality
of
this scuffed society
But
please hear me Mama!
It
is what I love
What
drives me to live!
Please
Mama, I am begging.
I
said I was watching,
where
I was walking...
I
didn't mean to
Mama,
I promise you...
-9/17/98
I
will deprive Him
By:
Katie Lanier
The
blood surges threw
like
fire in my chest
I
try to hold back
thoughts
I can not confess.
So
I sit alone
like
a cat in waiting
for
it's prey to come
slow
and silent breathing.
Pressure
is building
the
eyes of blind vision
glowing
rage of time
the
voices will be ringing.
The
room now spinning
underneath
paralyzed feet.
Their
screams of terror,
is
his sick release.
But
none of my screams
will
those bastards ears' hear,
I
shall deprive him
and
in time, survive him.
-9/16/98
(untitled)
By
: K. Lanier
Whiteness,
as this paper once was
like
the great expanse of winter's nothingness
she
shivered in the numbing cold,
walking
down the deserted lonely side streets.
Darkness,
is her hollowed out soul
like
those obsidian eyes the reach forever
she
must tie a string to her finger
So
that one day, she may find her way home, again.
-9/16/98
Tori
and her Piano
By:
K. Lanier
It's
ivory keys gliding
moving
up and down with intense grace
It's
voice is singing aloud
echoing
out threw the winding halls.
It's
filled with fantasy and
never
ending pain dripped emotions
It
sings the children to sleep
not
comprehending the meaning.
It,
without her, is nothing
standing
four legged and all alone.
It's
voice a silent humming
only
heard by those few memories.
It
is alive when she comes
to
strike the keys and dance together.
It
is as if they are one.
"Rabbit,
where'd ya put the keys girl?"
-9/22/98
Silence's
Proclamation
By:
K. Lanier
Silence
forbids understanding
grant
it but one thing,
it
is strangely captivating,
Tracking
and hunting,
Licking
and biting.
We
sit here , he and I watching
the
time slowly loudly ticking
for
us it is showing
the
moments passing
and
the feeling that is lingering
within
his and my own being.
The
vast blankness which is staring
into
my eyes, penetrating
my
soul that is not restoring
now,
he is looking
into
my direction hoping
thinks
it is helping
and
he still keeps on talking
his
voice i am not hearing
"Go
AWAY!!" I am now yelling....
I
can still see him walking, burning.
Now
the silence is flooding
mounting
and mounting
my
nerves are plucking
my
soul is trashing
till
eyes are blurring
madness
filling
till
the blood red rage is blinding
till
feel are pacing
the
nails are clawing
the
skin is ripping
cold
insanity is striking,
the
heart is racing
fists
are beating
the
brain nerves dying!!
Silence
forbids understanding....
-9/22/98
What dreams are made
off
By: Katie Lanier
You start out with a pinch of stars
and a wisp of dusk
add a little summer's breeze
and kiss it lightly on the cheek.
Glaze it gently with fancy
give it a prayer to say
tuck it under a cloud or two
and let it drift away.
-10/1/98
Chemicals
By: SolitudeX6
it was dusk
all the same to me
Dark shadows
glow in the rings of the moon,
Majestic in their texture
At the beach with sand between our
toes
when waves crash, turn up dead fish
and seaweed
</I>Muscle covered jetties crush
violently
as our evolved feet walk.
The sweat from the air now
runs off our brow
wiped away by a flannel sleeve.
It's plastic buttons get in our eyes
and burn..
Moonlit summer days help us to
see our pseudo appearance.
The rippled reflection we see
is covered by imagination.
The mind takes over in this
concrete flower image.
We take to the streets
with friends who are strangers
As we walk, we bond with
nature and disease.
Splinter filled ground makes us bleed
as we step into puddles of colors and
thoughts..
We go below the earth
carefully, cautiously, trying not to
disturb this pre-archiological find.
Designated seats for all,
a bed for the wounded we sit,
in our homeless home.
Time passes like a rippled,
colorless wave stretching through space
SNEAK OVERLOAD SAYS THE GODS.
We jump, all startled by
the simultaneous sounds.
We can hear our gods walking,
talking, thinking.
As they move towards our
newly found home, we can hear every
step they take, every thought they
think.
Maybe even perhaps the glowing
blue light that now shines in
our
eyes is a symbol of their soul.
As we open our entrance
to see our demanding gods,
all we see.........is wind.
A Mid-Winter’s Nightmare
Dec.25th, 1998
A large gaping, gasping hole in the
middle of the wood floor,
The empty wind echoing inside.
Darkness spilling, spewing out over
the rim,
Like a black fog, seeping into the
room.
She stands and walks to the edge,
Blackness curling about her feet,
She stares down into the abyss on her
living room floor,
Scratches her head and kneels at the
drop.
Slowly she extends her arm into the
cavity.
The damp wind whips and licks at her
bare flesh.
Shuddering, she jumps up and stumble
back,
Away from the unbearable empty sounds
of the void.
The darkness fumes out, thicker and
blacker.
Bringing with it the horrors and screeches
of the unknown.
Extending its opaque arms across the
room.
She creeps backward, her eyes wide
Screaming her breathless urgencies,
Clenching and tearing at her ears,
Till the plain white wall hugs her
body.
As the fog curls and seeps increasingly
closer,
Blanketing and rising through the room,
It coils up her legs and clings to
her body.
With a mind shattering deep moan of
anguish
The wall releases her,
And the limp body drops to the floor,
Disappearing into the darkness.
Lights slipped away from the windows
and reappeared,
Once, twice, three times
When she finally opens her eyes.
She inhales visions, as she exhales
sanity.
Her eyes flash violet as she scans
her room,
Noticing the black fog to have gone,
along with the void.
Stands up off the wood floor, brushes
of her pants,
And walks out the door.
-Katie Lanier
Ice Sickles
Nov.24th, 1998
She is almost numb, trembling in the
bitter, harsh cold.
It ironically burns her throat as she
inhales, piercing it.
Her lips quiver as she tries to speak
dry words of comfort.
But what is there to say, with no one
but the wind to hear you?
And this forceful wind can’t even carry
her words that far.
She tries to close her eyes and wait,
but her lids are frozen open
By cold tears, which dangle like ice
sickles off her lashes.
Her cheeks burn with a shivery crisp
tightness,
And her clouded breath hovers over
her head.
Each time she tries to adjust, one
way or another,
She is punished with jolts of sharp
agony.
Being pushed the limit,
The icy extremities of her in-trapped
sanity.
She just wanted to be noticed
To be touched, to be felt, to be seen,
To be.
-Katie Lanier
Just laid there
She tripped and fell again,
Over some little jagged rock.
At first she just laid there,
Sprawled out on the cold wet ground.
She laid there soaking up the mud.
Laid there and breathed in the coppery
scent.
Her eyes just laid there, wide open
and blank.
Her mouth just lay open, unclenched
and loose.
She wouldn’t stand up,
She didn’t want to.
She wouldn’t move,
She didn’t think she even could.
So, she just laid there.
Laid there soaking in the mud.
Laid there breathing in the dirt.
Laid there watching the clouds part.
-Katie Lanier.
Oceans on Land
Dec.7th, 1998
When I was a child,
The snow kissed my lips,
Caressed my cheek,
Stroked my hair.
It used to hold me in its embrace
And tickle my nose till it would glow.
It made my world seem
Cleaner, brighter and more pure.
Its crisp clean scent would open my
eyes.
Every morning it would greet me
As I strolled through its vast sincerity.
From its view, everything looked whole,
Enduring forever
Through wind and sun.
It was if I was floating,
Drifting on oceans at land,
When I was a child.
-Katie Lanier
Summer Dreams
12-21-98
The fresh warm scent cradled my nose,
While my body absorbed into the sun.
I fell into the grass and let it enfold
me.
Ran through the air and became a bird,
Felt the velvet air slide through my
feathers,
The solid ground beneath my feet turn
into nothing.
I walked through the forest and became
a wolf,
Pacing low and silent, my eyes held
every vision.
I swan through the river and became
a fish,
Felt the satin water rush up against
my golden scales,
Felt the cool touch of the river’s
hand upon my cheek.
I lay on the riverbank underneath the
night sky,
And listened to the river’s soft rumbled
whispers.
Closed my eyes and hummed along with
the forest,
Till sleep charmed me into it’s warm
embrace.
-Katie Lanier
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